A lot of things are going on.
Some exciting work stuff to do, some interesting pieces I am working on, some decisions to make. But I am not feeling well, and mostly I am fed up with not feeling well. I am not used to be so low, I usually and happily take a lot of responsebilities upon myself. But now tasks and logistics that were dead easy for me to do are difficult and mostly energy consuming.

I am trying to be posetive, I have friends that know how to cheer me up, I discovered the world of pain killers, but this is not life, not my life. I just want to be the good old (younger) me. I should have appreciated what I had a year ago a little bit more. and most of all I am fed up with hearing myself complaining, I can go hours and hours on and on explaing and describing. I have been to the pharmecist in the last month more than I have been in the the last four years.

I read somewhere - not sure where that happiness is not a given condintion. to be happy is a decision you have to make up and work towrds it.

So I decided. I am going to be happy.
Should I delete this post then???